In-Reach Leadership

Bringing Leadership Skills Within Reach

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Schadenfreude

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun:  A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others

Feeling guilty already, aren’t you?  Who doesn’t have moments (hours, days, months...) of schadenfreude when our enemies and competitors get their come-uppins?  They deserved it, right?  What goes around comes around.  It’s even better when we didn’t do anything to cause their misfortune.  There are no fingerprints at the scene, so to speak.

I’m not going to try to tackle the rightness or wrongness of this feeling when it is derived from our enemies and competitors.  Lots of gray area there.  But what particularly interests me is how commonly this feeling is directed at people who are on the same team as us.  They have the same goals and objectives as us, but we want them to stumble.  Why?  The two most common reasons are competition and resentment.  

Competition
While competition can be a positive and healthy thing for a team, we don’t always know when to turn it off.  It works when we are competing against another team, but we often think we are in competition with those on our own team.  Among the variety of reasons for this: organizations often promote competition within teams to increase quality, quantity or speed; promotional opportunities are scarce compared to those who are interested in them; individuals often measure their worth by comparing themselves with those around them.

Resentment
Holding a grudge about a perceived wrong done to us makes it difficult for us to see the guilty party succeed.  We want justice.  We want fairness restored.  They slighted us, attacked us, overlooked us, punished us..., and we are righteously indignant.  Failure, embarrassment or difficult obstacles in their path would make us feel like the scales had been returned to their proper positions.

Hopefully, it’s obvious that this isn’t healthy for a team interested in accomplishing shared goals.  It leads to all types of passive-aggressive and aggressive behaviors, ranging from negative thoughts to gossip to rumors to Tonya Harding-inspired pipes to the knee.  Even at their most “innocuous” levels, these feelings lead us to withhold assistance and advice that might help the other person.  Schadenfreude spells “cancer” in German.  It will rot a team from the inside out.

As team leaders, we need to be diligent to spot the signs of schadenfreude when they surface, and we need to deal with them quickly and decisively.  But more than that, we need to eliminate the organizational conditions that lead it.  Competition should be saved for the competition.  Team members should be clear about what their chances are for promotional opportunities in and outside the team.  If we already have someone in mind as our replacement or for our next opening, we should communicate our intentions clearly to prevent jockeying for position.

I had a new boss once that realized shortly after her arrival that her team had a culture of gossip and schadenfreude (though she wouldn’t have used that term at the time).  She called all her directors into a room, and in no uncertain terms, told us that it was unacceptable and grounds for termination.  In fact, she said that she wouldn’t have a problem firing one of us if that’s what it took.  Within a few weeks, one of the directors was gone.  Now, I don’t know if it had anything to do with the culture of gossip or not, but she had our attention, and behaviors changed.

Make a strong stand against schadenfreude within your team.  You’ve got enough enemies and competitors without adding them from the inside.
  

Aug 1, 2007 3:02 PM

Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway!

Once, when General George Patton was praised for his bravery in battle, he said, “Sir, I am not a brave man -- the truth is, I am an utter craven coward.  I have never been within the sound of gunshot or in sight of battle in my whole life that I wasn't so scared that I had sweat in the palms of my hands, but I have learned early in my life never to take counsel of my fears."

Patton didn’t somehow turn off his fear.  He stopped listening to it, and he learned to push through it.  I’ve found that successful people consistently do this.  They feel the fear and do it anyway.

Last week, my oldest son and I went to the Royal Gorge with the express purpose of riding the Royal Rush Skycoaster.  Named the “scariest skycoaster in the world,” the Royal Rush Skycoaster pulls you up 100 feet in the air by cable and then drops you.  You swing out over the Royal Gorge at a speed of 50 mph and hang over the Arkansas River 1,200 feet below.  

I was so scared that it made me sick to think about doing it.  This wasn’t our first time to the park, you understand.  We had been there months before, and the kids wanted to ride “the swing.”  Dad chickened out.  

This time, however, I was determined.  Chandler just turned thirteen, and this was an important part of an elaborate series of challenges that Dad is calling “Chandler’s induction into manhood.”  I could hardly ask him to do it if I wasn’t going to participate.  I’m not ready to have him take over the title of “man of the house” just yet.

So I screwed my courage to the sticking point, and I laid my credit card down on the counter.  (“What am I doing?  I’m going to pay for this?”)  A few minutes later, we were strapping into our harnesses.  (“Hey! Watch the hands, buddy!”)  Then we were watching other victims as we waited in line for our turn.  (“She’s screaming.  Why’s she screaming?”)  Then we were getting clipped to the cable.  (“Stop talking to your co-worker, and FOCUS!  These are our lives you’re dealing with.”)  Then we were being towed into the air.  (“I made a mistake!  I made a mistake!  I want down now...Mommy!”)  Then the tiny, tiny, little man on the ground was yelling, “3...2...1...PULL!” and my son was yanking the ripcord.  (--Censored--)

But then, an amazing thing happened.  All that fear – the stomach-churning, knee-knocking, panic-inducing fear – was gone!  Where it had been, there was now exhilaration!  I was overwhelmed with feelings of excitement, gratitude (“Thank you, God!  Thank you, God!”), awe, peace and freedom.  They let us swing out over the gorge six or seven times, and I thoroughly enjoyed staring into 1,200 feet of abyss.  Two minutes after we got off the ride, my son looked at me with a spark in his eye and said, “Let’s do it again!”  And we did.

I learned some important things about fear that day:

  • Fear (spelled F.E.A.R.) is usually based on False Expectations Appearing Real. (It was highly unlikely that we were going to be the first people to be flung into the gorge, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.)
  • Taking a realistic look at the worst-case scenario often puts F.E.A.R. in its proper perspective. (Death wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to us.  Both of us already have an exit strategy.)
  • Having a partner in scary situations gives us courage.  (As Chandler and I debriefed the event, we both said that having the other one with us calmed the nerves.)
  • Making a first investment in doing something scary makes it harder to back out.  (Once I had put $50 into the experience, there was no way I was getting out of line.)
  • Humor kills F.E.A.R.  (As we stood in line, we made lame jokes and laughed nervously with the people in front of us.  As long as we were laughing, we forgot how much we wanted to get away.)
  • F.E.A.R. has a thin skin.  (It took very little action to push through the membrane of F.E.A.R.  The worst part of the ride was my active imagination.  Once I did something, the F.E.A.R. was gone.)
  • Facing your F.E.A.R.s resets your courage border.  (After the ride, some of the F.E.A.R.s I’ve been dealing with lately seemed silly in comparison to what I had just been through.  I’m actually excited about applying what I learned about F.E.A.R. in those situations, too.  My courage border gained some real estate that day.)

While there are times when fear is an important defense mechanism that keeps us from winning a Darwin Award, most of the time, it interferes with us becoming all we were created to be.  Stop taking counsel of your fears.  What would you do if you were not afraid?

Then, go and do it!  Do it! Do it now!  Feel the F.E.A.R. and do it anyway!

  

Jun 20, 2007 1:36 PM

The Fortunate Fall

I’m not speaking theologically here.  I’m talking about normal, everyday failure.  Oh, how we dread it!  How we avoid it!  How we guard against it!  How we try to hide it when it happens!  Failure is so...(if my international friends will forgive the expression)...so...un-American!  It carries with it the stigma of unworthiness, and we refer to those who have failed as the “losers,” the “has-beens,” the “also-rans” and the “one-hit wonders.”  Tsk...tsk...

No wonder we don’t want to fail.  There’s little grace for the “failure” in today’s world.  Failures are written off and disowned, and many take delight in pecking them to death like chickens do with their weak and wounded.  It’s survival of the fittest, and there seems to be a measure of justice accorded when the “imposter’s” sins find him out.  Besides, what if it’s catching?  Maybe his failure is contagious!

How short-sighted of us if we hold these views.  Failure is rarely the end of the story; oftentimes it’s just the beginning.  How many people have you known who have experienced a significant failure only to rebound in a spectacular way?  Consider these examples:

  • John James Audubon, whose name is now synonymous with birds and bird conservation, didn’t start traveling and painting birds until his dry-goods business failed and he had to be jailed for bankruptcy in 1819.
  • Joe Rosenthal, who received the Pulitzer Prize for his stunning photograph of the flag-raising at Iwo Jima, wouldn’t have been there to make the moment immortal if the armed forces hadn’t rejected him for service because of his abysmal eyesight (one-twentieth of the average person).  Instead of going to war, he photographed it for the Associated Press.
  • William Faulkner didn’t start writing seriously until after he was asked to resign from his postmaster’s job.  Within five years, he had written The Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying, considered to be his greatest works.
  • Ulysses S. Grant failed as a farmer, as a real-estate partner, in a bid for elected office and in several key battles of the Civil War before he found his niche at the head of the Union armies.  Within a few years, he won the war and was appointed a full general -  the first since General George Washington.  Three years later, he was elected President of the United States.
Each of these men capitalized on their failures.  They learned what failure had to teach them.  They gained self-awareness and clarity around their strengths and their weaknesses, and then they used failure as motivation to operate in their strengths.  For them, failure was a fortunate fall. 

When was the last time you had a fortunate fall?  Are you avoiding it because you fear the consequences?  Are you struggling in a no-win situation, because you don’t want to admit it’s a bad fit?  Are you trying to hide your lack of skill or talent or results from your peers or from your boss?  Isn’t that draining the life out of you?

When we try to be someone we aren’t, the stress and frustration accumulates until one of two things happen:
    1. We make the decision to make a change.
    2. Someone else makes that decision for us.
Wouldn’t you rather make the decision of your own initiative?  It could be the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life, a chapter of incredible self-fulfillment and achievement.  Stop focusing exclusively on the negative consequences of failure.  It has much to teach you, and it can be the catalyst for positive change.

One last note: if you know someone who is trying to be someone they are not, the kindest thing you can do for them is to hold up a mirror.  Tactfully, share what you see as the disconnect and encourage them to face the facts.  No one can be successful at everything that they do.  Help them to find that for which they were created, and you free them to reach their highest potential.

May 31, 2007 12:10 PM

Legislation for the Few

Have you ever stopped to consider where most of our laws, rules, restrictions and requirements come from?  Most of them were created to protect the many from the few.  In other words, most legislation (be it from a government or the Compliance department) is put into place to protect the many law-abiders from the few law-breakers.

I get it; it makes sense to me.  And I think many rules and laws are necessary.  But haven’t we taken it a little too far?  Sometimes we create so many rules and regs that we end up punishing the many just to restrict the few from their rule-breaking tendencies.  Once a rule is created, it ties the hands of everyone, not just the unruly rule-breakers.

Take this example from Seth Godin's book, Purple Cow:

“At Brock’s Restaurant in Stamford, Connecticut, here’s what it says on the menu (in large type):

SORRY—NO SHARING SALAD BAR

IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR OVERALL PRICING REASONABLE, IT IS IMPORTANT THAT AN HONOR SYSTEM OF NO SHARING OF THE SALAD BAR BE RESPECTED. SHOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND WISH TO ENJOY THE SALAD BAR, IT IS ONLY 2.95 WITH A SANDWICH, BURGER OR ENTRÉE. FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND COOPERATION WE THANK YOU.”

Consider what prompted this sign to be posted.  Restaurant management noticed some people piling on salad selections and then sharing them with their friends and family members.  How often do you suppose this happened?  How much do you suppose it actually cost the restaurant in salad losses?  I would wager that a month’s worth of salad stealing didn’t cost that restaurant more than one to two hundred dollars in actual losses (and I think I’m being generous).

Now, consider how many honest and conscientious salad patrons read that message.  How many of them do you think were irked by it?  How many of them left with a lower opinion of the restaurant than they had when they arrived?  How much bad publicity has that sign generated since being published by a nationally best-selling author?

Finally, think about the relatively small percentage of dishonest customers who dine at this restaurant.  Do you think the sign was a sufficient deterrent to prevent them from salad-stealing?  How many customers who had never thought of stealing salad now considered it after being introduced to the idea by the sign?

To quote an old proverb, the restaurant is “straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel.”  They are punishing the many to catch the few, and they probably aren’t catching the few anyway.

Seth Godin continues...
“Compare this to the wine policy at a restaurant called Frontière. The owner puts an open bottle of wine on every table, and at the end of the meal you tell the waiter how many glasses you consumed. The honor system.

Which is more worthy of positive comment? Marketing benefits aside, which leads to more incremental profit? (Hint: Two glasses of wine pay for a whole bottle at wholesale!)”
Both restaurants talk about an “honor system.”  The second restaurant demonstrates theirs.  Relying on the best of human nature, they put their money where their mouth is.  Sure, they will experience losses from dishonest people, but the losses won’t be anything compared to the positive press the restaurant gets for it’s sign of good faith.

Am I saying that we should get rid of rules and regs?  Not at all.  I’m saying, before you create a rule to govern the activities of your team or your customers (or anyone, for that matter), think hard.  What percentage of people is this rule intended to protect us from?  What percentage of honest, well-meaning people will be punished by it?  Could you better manage the behavior of the rule-breaking few by dealing with them directly?  Is the risk associated with the rule-breaking manageable?  In other words, can you live with the consequences of having a small percentage that are not in compliance?

Sometimes the cure is more expensive than the disease.  Maybe the problem isn’t worth solving.  Count the cost before you legislate.

(S – Godin, Seth, The Purple Cow)

May 31, 2007 12:08 PM

Broken Windows

Malcolm Gladwell tells the story of New York City’s sudden drop in crime-rate during the mid-1990’s in his book The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference.  When David Gunn was hired as the New York City subway director in 1984, he had a plan to reduce crime by using the principles of the “Broken Window Theory.”

The Broken Window Theory states that if you walk by a building that has a broken window, you automatically make some assumptions about the people who own the building and are responsible for its upkeep.  They apparently don’t care enough about the building to keep it in good working order and aesthetically pleasing.  While only a small percentage of people would take the owner’s neglect as license to continue vandalizing the property, most of us wouldn’t feel the need to take special care to keep it clean, either.  If the owners don’t care, then why should you?  If the broken window goes unattended long enough, we begin to transfer our low opinion to the surrounding neighborhood.  We take less and less responsibility, and the environment gets worse and worse.

Gunn’s idea focused on reducing crime by eliminating graffiti on the subway cars as soon as it appeared.  Under his “Clean Car Program,” new cars were introduced to the system one-by-one.  At the end of their routes, they were inspected for vandalism.  If any graffiti was found, the car was immediately repainted before it was put back into service.  Whenever more extensive damage was evident, the car was pulled from the line until it could be reconditioned.  By 1989, every single car had been cleaned.

Gunn’s initiative was taken up by William Bratton when he was appointed chief of the Transit Authority Police in 1990.  Bratton cracked down on turnstile jumpers who tried to ride for free and brought about innovations in the way arrests were processed so that they could be handled more easily and on-site.  Originally, officers were skeptical and even pessimistic of the new measures, but it’s hard to argue with a 75% reduction in subway crime in less than a decade.  By sweating the small stuff, they had signaled to would-be criminals that they cared enough to put up a fight for their subways.

The Broken Window Theory applies in many ways around us.  Any time we don’t care enough to pay attention to the details with our own stuff, it won’t be long before others start to ignore them, as well.  A little neglect on our part is likely to bring about wholesale disregard from those who have less ownership than we do.  In this respect, the small stuff does matter.  Look for the broken windows in your areas of responsibility.  If you fix them, it’s likely others will be more conscientious in those areas, too.

(S – Gladwell, Malcolm.  The Tipping Point)

May 31, 2007 12:06 PM

Yesterday's Extra Effort

One time when I was working in a corporate environment, I got a new boss.  That was nothing particularly noteworthy.  This boss was my eleventh in about as many years.  But what made the getting of this boss different was that shortly after joining our team, this boss had to jump into annual reviews and compensation for people she didn’t know particularly well.  But I guess that’s nothing particularly noteworthy, either. 

What was particularly noteworthy were the annual bonuses this boss secured for us.  Because my department’s bonuses fell under the heading of “discretionary,” they were typically rather, well...let’s just call them “modest.”  (Big enough to super-size your lunch for a few days but not big enough to start your retirement.)  However, this particular year, they were considerable.  My bonus was so large that I could have added all my other bonuses together and multiplied them five times without reaching the total.  In fact, when my boss called and gave me the number, I was sure I had heard her wrong.  Those types of incentives were reserved for the production departments.  But sure enough, when the check came, it was the number she gave me.

Do you think I was motivated by my boss’ generosity?  Absolutely!  I was ready to walk through walls for her.  I was prepared to volunteer for every project that came up, and I probably did....for about three months.  After that, a funny thing happened.  I forgot about the bonus.  The money had been spent almost as soon as I had gotten it, and the thrill of cash in the bank account had been replaced by the dread of credit card bills and car payments.

But that’s not the worst of it.  Fast-forward to annual performance review time at the end of the year.  My boss called me to tell me that I again got a bonus and to let me know what I could expect.  I was pumped!  I couldn’t wait to hear the number, and I just knew it was going to be a significant increase over the previous year.  Imagine my disappointment when the number was actually lower.  Now mind you, it wasn’t much lower – about the size of one of my previous bonuses lower – but I was so upset that I thought about quitting my job.  I’m ashamed to say that this was my attitude even though I still could have multiplied all my previous bonuses by five and fit them into this new one.

I’ve shared this embarrassingly ungrateful side of my personality to make a point. 

Yesterday’s extra effort is today’s expectation.

This is true for most of us, not just spoiled rascals like me.  Let me give you a few examples to prove it.  Have you ever brought breakfast in for your team?  I bet you were met with smiles, appreciation and compliments on what a great manager you were.  But continue to bring that breakfast in on a regular basis, and it won’t be long before your team is complaining, “Glazed donuts again?  Couldn’t you get some jelly donuts or something hot?  What, no Starbucks coffee?”  Yesterday’s extra effort is today’s expectation.

Or how about when you put in extra hours at the office?  At first, your boss and all those who benefit will comment on your incredible work ethic.  They will commend you for your dedication and self-sacrifice.  But try to scale back to your regular hours and see what happens.  Suddenly, you’re “not as accessible as you used to be” or “you’re performance seems to be slipping” even though it’s just as high as it was before the extra hours.  Yesterday’s extra effort is today’s expectation.

Taking some liberties with the motivation theories of Frederick Herzberg, the phenomenon I’m describing happens because of the difference between Satisfiers (Herzberg calls them “Hygiene Factors”) and Motivators.  Satisfiers are things that have the ability to satisfy us but not to motivate us.  In a sense, they are the price of admission into that arena of motivation. Motivation starts where Satisfaction leaves off.  This graphic ought to help make the idea clear:

image

When someone is 100% satisfied, it opens the door to motivation, but it doesn’t go in.  100% satisfied is not necessarily motivated, but it’s where motivation often starts.  For example, I’m satisfied with my level of pay, but I’m not motivated by it.  I don’t get up in the morning thinking, “I can’t wait to get to work to earn this salary I’m making!”  On the contrary, I feel like I deserve it.  If you want to motivate me, you’ve got to do it some other way – through recognition or meaningful work or incentives...  Now, if you pay me less than I feel I deserve, I’m easily dissatisfied.  You’ll find it very difficult to motivate me with any motivators until you’ve addressed my dissatisfaction issue.  Make sense?

What makes using this information tricky is that Satisfiers and Motivators are moving targets.  Let’s say that I’m perfectly happy with my level of pay, but at lunch one day, one of my peers lets it slip that he’s making a little more than me.  Do you think I will still be satisfied?  Nope.  Now, I’m highly dissatisfied.  Why?  Because my level of expectation just increased.  To satisfy me, you have to pay me at least what he’s making (and apologize).  Using the graphic again, here’s what has happened to what I need to satisfy me:

image

Do you see what changed?  Now it takes much more to satisfy me.  When expectations increase, so does what it takes to satisfy me.  Are you starting to see why yesterday’s extra effort becomes today’s expectation?  In my previous example, the really large bonus increased my level of expectation.  I didn’t know it was possible to get a bonus that big before, but now that I knew, nothing less would satisfy me.  In fact, even just a small decrease created dissatisfaction.

These changes aren’t limited to pay and things related to work.  We change our expectations in many areas of our lives.  A friend of mine owns a very nice house.  It’s much larger and nicer than most of the houses my other friends have.  But he and his wife recently visited some neighbors who have a one-million-dollar house.  As soon as they got home, everything they had started to look smaller and less appealing in comparison.  Their level of expectation was raised.  Or here’s another example.  Remember when your kids were young?  Every little thing they did was a surprise and a delight, and you made sure to let them know how proud you were.  But as they have grown, so have your expectations of them.  If you find that you spend much more time criticizing them than praising them, it’s because it takes a lot more to motivate you to praise.  (I wonder what would happen if we started to lower our expectations in areas where we could afford to do so.)

So what lessons do we take away from this?  I have a few:

  • Before you start to hand out expensive motivators (like bonuses and costly incentives), consider that their motivational power has a shelf-life.  It will increase the performer’s level of expectation, and you’ll find that the motivator has to get better and better or bigger and bigger to continue to motivate.
  • Consider internal (or intrinsic) motivators first, because they have a long shelf-life and do not increase levels of expectation.  Internal motivators include things like pride in work well done, sense of contribution, learning and growth, challenging and meaningful work...  These are harder to use well, because you have to know your team members well enough to know what charges their batteries.
  • Before you commit to giving more and more of yourself to your job, your ministry or your community, count the cost.  You may not be able to scale back in the future without some heartburn.
  • If you find that your expectations are too high in some area of your life, lower them.  Believe it or not, you can just decide to be satisfied with less.  I’ve found that this strategy has really improved some of the most important relationships in my life.
As a general rule, expectations increase.  We tend to want bigger, better and faster.  Unless you intentionally slow their progress, you might find it difficult to keep up with them.

May 31, 2007 12:02 PM
(C) Michael Kientz, 2007.  You may share any of this content as long as you attribute it to this website.